Apologizing – A New Approach to an Old Problem

by History Maker 101

There is a lot of bitterness in this world. On the morning of September 11, 2001, the world testified the unfortunate effects of such horror.

Now I’m reading this blog titled ‘I Hate Racists’ on ihatethis.org which is filled with anger and hatred towards racism and injustice. By preaching sheer hatred like this you are only adding fuel to the fires that burn in a world already filled with hatred and violence.

We all make mistakes. Howsoever intelligent we may be, or wealthy, or experienced, we all make mistakes.

Sometimes we realize, other times we don’t. But we all make mistakes because we are human.

Only God does not ever make any mistake.

Most of us are waiting for the world to come together in peace. We may never reach that and it may seem like a farfetched dream, but together we must find the means. We must create a safe and secure environment for our children and our children’s children.

Some of our mistakes hurt our interest. They don’t hurt anyone else. But sometimes, we do few things knowingly or unknowingly that hurt others. That is the time to apologize.

Why do many of us apologize immediately, and why do many of us avoid it? Why do many of us say sorry even for an insignificant hurt, while some wait for ages to sorry after committing gigantic blunders? That is a mystery. It all depends upon our thinking, our upbringing, our humility, our sense of right and wrong, and our opinion of others feelings and so on. But do we become smaller by saying sorry? Are we confessing a blunder by saying sorry? Are we hurting our ego by saying sorry? Certainly not.

Racism is a difficult subject to tackle and to form a culture free of such racism, we must begin with education. If you don’t want your children to grow up in a world of hatred, teach them tolerance toward race, religion, colour, and sexual orientation. We must expose racism and bigotry for what they are.

We rather become better by saying sorry. When we say sorry, we feel good, the other party feels good. By saying sorry, we are not making a mistake of confessing a blunder and putting ourselves at risk of ridicule, but saying that- look here, I made this mistake, and I am very sorry for that. Please forgive me and let us be friends again.

It is important to understand what racism is. Wikipedia describes racism as ‘Historically, it has been defined as the belief that race is the primary determinant of human capacities that a certain race is inherently superior or inferior to others, and/or that individuals should be treated differently according to their racial designation. Sometimes racism means beliefs, practices, and institutions that discriminate against people based on their perceived or ascribed race.’

An apology makes us a better person by cleansing us of our guilt. Let us all say sorry as soon as we realize that by any act of ours, we have hurt someone even if the hurt is insignificant. If the mistake is bigger, our apology should match it to bring matters back to normal.

Give your children the opportunity to develop close friendships with people of different races. Teach your children to accept people as individuals. We must teach them that there is no room for discrimination. Remember that our children are influenced by the world around them.

I don’t hate all the people in the world, I only feel ill towards those who are blind and cannot accept people for who they are.
The ability to accept that we are equal regardless of origins is necessary to live in a diverse society.

The dictionary meaning of the word cruel says – to make someone suffer or to give pain to someone.

Are all of us cruel in our ways?

Some of us are more than others, but is cruelty a part of every personality?
Let us look at it from the other side?
Don’t we all feel that many times our friends, family and even the people dearest to us act in ways that hurt us?
Sometimes, we tell them about it, and sometimes we ignore it. But is it not true that all those who relate with us closely at some point in our life, hurt us?

The hurt may not be by a deed. It can be words spoken harshly. It can be misunderstanding our motives and giving them a different colour. It can be accusing us of no fault of ours. Or it can be simply not trying to understand us. All these actions hurt us. Don’t we think at that time that if the other party had been more understanding, we would have felt more comfortable?

Cruelty does not escape even the most loving mothers. When a mother is tense and tired, many times, she lets her child cry for milk for some time ignoring the cries and rather cursing the child of hunger at all times. The child does not understand any of his/her mother’s problems, but only wants to be fed.

It is not the child’s mistake, but he /she is hurt. Why?

Husbands knowingly not trying to help their wives in household chores, wives knowing all about husband’s career problems still blaming him for small mistakes, children in a classroom, targeting a child for a physical quality, and so on. Are all these not parts of a cruel nature?

Companies not responding immediately to consumer’s problems, consumers hammering the companies for smallest faults, lawsuits being filed for trivial matters, students made to slog in the schools to get higher marks at the cost of their childhood, politicians accusing each other of crimes never committed, and so many other such instances that can be cited to prove that somewhere in our life, we begin losing our compassion. Sadly, in most cases, we are not aware of our cruelty.

We become aware of it only when we are targeted.

Don’t you agree that the world is slowly becoming a cruel world?

Examine your attitudes and opinions about those of a different race. Before stereotyping people, stop and think about what your stereotyping is doing to our world today.

Let us apologize at all times, we make a mistake and make someone happy again and get happiness in return.

Do You Love Yourself

Compassion, sympathy, love, care, are all words that we value very much. We wish to be all these to others. Love others. Be compassionate to others. Care for others and be sympathetic to others. Why not to ourselves?

Why don’t we show more compassion to ourselves? This sounds strange but this is true. We treat ourselves shabbily many times. We will work even if we are dead tired. We will worry, even if our mind is exhausted. We will plan and try to help others when we need more help. We wish to give so much to others that we forget about our mind and body.

Another emotion, which we use to thrash ourselves with, is guilt. We carry a lot of guilt about our past and keep on revisiting those sins and use them to kick ourselves repeatedly. Goals and working non-stop to achieve those goals, helping others, taking care that no one is hurt, and so many other such desires make us work hard and in the process, we forget that we are also human beings.

We forget our body, mind and heart. Once in a while, we need to pamper ourselves. Talk to our own body. Ask it to relax. Talk to our mind. Tell it not to worry so much. Leave things to God. Help others, and at the same time treat yourselves gently to be a little more calm and peaceful.

Begin loving yourself like your mother used to do when you were a small baby. You need it at times.

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